Dating and Relationship Tips for Introverts
Are you single? And an introvert? Online dating can seem like the perfect fit, rather than meeting someone through family and friends in noisy, intrusive spaces. However, do you also find online dating a harrowing experience? If so, we are here to help.
Recognising an Introvert
Let us look at the main characteristics that position you as an introvert.
- You tend to be highly observant and process things deeply, embracing solitude and craving time alone.
- Preferring to process your thoughts internally rather than verbally, you choose to share personal information with only a select few.
- You favour writing, texting, and other forms of written communication over talking, displaying less demonstrative emotions than extroverts.
- You recharge by retreating and spending time alone, becoming exhausted and over-stimulated by large groups of people.
- You feel most alive and invigorated in quiet environments, maintaining a small circle of close friends rather than a large one.
- You are a great listener, get to know people on a deep level, and take extra time to understand ideas before moving on to new ones.
- You like meaningful interactions rather than small talk.
Not all introverts would exhibit all these characteristics. In fact, chances are some of you are ambiverts—people who move between introversion and extroversion. Whether you are an introvert or an ambivert, the following tips will help you experience a smooth online relationship journey.
Create a Decent Profile
When you look through other profiles what catches your attention? Good photos, a great smile, that little titbit of quirky information about their pet? Upload a couple of good photos taken in good light where you are facing the camera. Blurry photos, where you do not face the camera, are not going to work.
Share a few details about yourself, without oversharing. Many introverts find it easier to share online than offline. That doesn’t mean you write an essay about yourself on your profile. Check your grammar and spelling—many women (and men) are finicky about this. And, lastly, fill in all the fields. An incomplete profile is a red flag when it comes to dating and relationship apps.
Mention Your Quirks
You own 3 cats and a guinea pig? Mention that. Or mention your socially acceptable quirks. Nobody wants to hear about your deep, dark secrets. But they might like it that you enjoy midnight walks in the rainy season. You are showcasing the real you, giving the other users a sense of the three-dimensional you that photos alone do not reveal.
Making the First Move
Many introverts find it easy to chat for hours on end but making the initial move may be difficult for them. Do not wait, or take time, to make the first move. By the time you build up the courage to send a message, the user might have set up a meeting with another user. Sending a “Hi” or “Hey” will not resonate with everyone and may not elicit a response. Read our blog on possible questions to ask your match here. Use your listening skills to engage the user. The Rematch app has a psychometric questionnaire that asks some of the tough questions that need to be asked. If there are things that you think need to be asked that are important to you, then, do not hesitate to do so. That said, do not spend all your time chatting. If you build up an image of the user in your mind, when you meet them, the actual person might not match up.
Getting Ready for the First Date
Do not agonise too much about what to wear. Show up in a well-groomed version of yourself without going overboard. Have a few neutral conversation starters ready for when you meet your date in person. That said, occasional silence is normal when meeting someone initially or even subsequently. It does not mean that the date did not go well.
You need not call the first meeting “a date” if that makes you anxious. Think of it as a catch-up with an acquaintance at a place that does not give you anxiety. Pick a restaurant you’ve been wanting to try out for some time or a shopping mall, where there are other people, but not too many that you feel overwhelmed. If you pick a date to a place where there is scope for some activity that will reduce the pressure, like going to a single-day baking class or pottery-making.
Use Your Introspective Skills to Weigh in on the Date
Use a few hours to decide whether you are still on a high from the date or you were bored. You may have to go on a few first dates to click with someone. Or you may have to go on several dates with the same person to see if there is that slow-burning spark.
It will be difficult but let them know that you are ready for a second date or gently let them down as the case may be. The earlier you do it, the easier it is. If they do not want to be with you, it will not feel good. But do you really want to be with someone who does not want to be with you?
Dating an Introvert
Dating an introvert might be a mite challenging. Especially for an extrovert. However, if there is chemistry between the two of you, a long-term relationship can turn out to be a fulfilling one. Now, below we have a few guidelines for people dating introverts:
When dating an introvert, whether you are an extrovert, ambivert, or even another introvert, understanding their preferences can make the experience smoother. Accepting your partner for who they are without trying to change them is crucial. Introverts offer you the chance to slow down and reflect. It is important to dispel misconceptions about introversion, recognising that introverts can enjoy social activities but need time to recharge.
It is essential to create a safe environment where your introverted partner feels comfortable sharing their thoughts. Focus on making authentic connections through meaningful conversations. Ask them questions rather than volunteering information. Choosing appropriate dates that cater to their preference for intimate settings can help build a stronger bond. Compromising on which social events to attend and respecting their need for solitude will contribute to a healthy relationship. In addition, highlighting your partner’s strengths and maintaining good communication habits will ensure a successful and fulfilling partnership.
Conclusion
Dating as an introvert or dating an introvert can be a rewarding experience when approached with understanding and respect. By embracing your partner’s unique qualities, creating a safe space for open communication, and choosing activities that cater to their preferences, you can build a meaningful and fulfilling relationship. Remember, the key to a successful partnership lies in appreciating each other’s differences and working together to find a balance that suits both of you. Happy dating!
Sign up on the Rematch app to find your perfect match that understands your level of introversion.
References
Cain, Sophia Dembling. “How to Date an Introvert.” Psychology Today, December 2016. Accessed January 17, 2025. https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-introverts-corner/201612/how-date-introvert
Morin, Amy. “What to Know When Dating an Introvert.” Verywell Mind, October 27, 2020. Accessed January 17, 2025. https://www.verywellmind.com/what-to-know-when-dating-an-introvert-5093777.
