Right then, chin up, buttercup! We may have called this the ending a live-in relationship checklist, but it is equally applicable to married couples on the brink of divorce or separation.
Right, so even the most splendidly knotted dupattas can be gently unpicked. Here’s a whimsical checklist, crafted with a dash of Indian sensibility, to help you navigate this delicate dance of separation.
Part One
Have a Proper Natter: Before you start flinging accusations, sit down for a proper cuppa and a heart-to-heart. No shouting, no histrionics, just a good old-fashioned conversation. Be honest about why things aren’t working. Is it a clash of chutney preferences? A disagreement over the correct way to fold a bedsheet? Or something a tad more profound? Lay it all on the table, as delicately as you would a perfectly brewed filter coffee.
The Ghost of Auntyji’s Judgement: Indian families, bless their cotton dhotis, often have opinions. And these opinions can be louder than a Bengaluru traffic jam. Prepare yourselves for the inevitable ‘Auntyji’s Judgement’. Aunties, Uncles, distant cousins twice removed – they will all have something to say. Decide, between yourselves, how much of this familial feedback you’re going to absorb. Perhaps a polite nod and a vague murmur of agreement is the best tactic. Remember, this is your separation, not a community project.
Part Two
The Great Belongings Bonanza: Right, time to divvy up the spoils of your cohabitation. Who gets the pressure cooker? Who bags the delicate China collection? Approach this with the spirit of a jumble sale, not a divorce court. Perhaps a playful ‘rock, paper, scissors’ tournament for particularly contentious items? Or, even better, a ‘goodwill gifting’ exercise. Be generous, even if you’re feeling a bit miffed. Karma, and all that.
The Joint Account Conundrum: If you’ve got a joint bank account, time to untangle those finances. Close it down, split the funds fairly, and open your separate accounts. This is less romantic than sharing a plate of pani puri, but infinitely more sensible in the long run. Think of it as financial feng shui – clearing out the old to make way for new monetary opportunities.
The ‘Who Pays for the Netflix?’ Negotiation: Subscriptions! The bane of modern break-ups. Netflix, Amazon Prime, Zee5 – who gets to keep binge-watching ‘Paatal Lok’ and who gets relegated to cable television? Negotiate this crucial aspect of modern life with the seriousness it deserves.
The Rent/Mortgage Muddle: If you’re renting, have a chat with the landlord about who’s staying and who’s going. If you’re homeowners, things get a tad more complicated. Seek proper legal advice, not just the counsel of your well-meaning but possibly clueless parent. This is where the whimsy takes a back seat, and sensible shoes and serious discussions come to the fore.
The Utilities Uproar: Gas, electricity, water, internet – all those boring but essential bills. Sort out who’s responsible for what, and when. Nobody wants to be slapped with a court bill for utilities used by an ex-partner. This is the unglamorous underbelly of separation, but tackle it with Indian efficiency during the Emergency Period.
The Address Sorting: Update your address everywhere! Banks, post office, online shopping accounts, the local chai walli (if she sends bills, which is unlikely but you never know). You don’t want your ex-partner accidentally receiving your tax demands or, worse, your online shopping deliveries.
Part Three
The Social Media Spring Clean: Time for a digital declutter. Untag yourselves from joint photos (unless they’re particularly hilarious, in which case, perhaps leave them for posterity). Decide on a social media strategy. Are you going to unfollow each other? Mute each other? Or bravely remain ‘friends’ online, knowing full well you’ll be secretly stalking each other’s profiles for at least the next six months? Choose your digital destiny wisely.
The ‘Friends in Common’ Fandango: What to do about mutual friends? This can be trickier than navigating a crowded Charminar on holidays. Have a chat about how you’ll manage social circles. Will you divide friends like territories? Or will you attempt to maintain cordiality and risk awkward encounters at every social gathering?
The ‘New Beginnings’ era: Right, the practicalities are (mostly) sorted, the emotional dust is (somewhat) settling. Plan something lovely for yourself. A solo trip to Lakshadweep? A new instapot that lights up the kitchen? Invest in your own happiness, and remember that ending one chapter simply means a brand new, possibly even more splendid, one is about to begin.
The ‘Forgive and Forget (Eventually)’ Fiesta: Forgiveness is a bit like a good curry – it takes time to simmer and develop flavour. Aim for a place of gentle acceptance and perhaps even a touch of fond remembrance. Holding onto bitterness is like wearing shoes that are two sizes too small – terribly uncomfortable and utterly pointless. Let go, move on.
And remember, even in the midst of separation, a bit of whimsy and a good cuppa can make all the difference. And so, that’s our ending a live-in relationship checklist.
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To understand more about the current live-in relationship scenario in India, read our blog on the same here.
