The psychology of attraction says that meeting often can lead to feelings of attraction. Image Courtesy: AI-generated
Understanding the Psychology of Attraction
Attraction is all about sparking feelings of desire, interest, or liking. It is like a magnet that pulls people together. Social psychologist Fugère explains it as forces that draw people in, whether it is liking, sexual desire, similarity, or just being physically close. Attraction can be super confusing because it is so complicated. In our previous blog, we set out 9 different kinds of psychological attraction that people experience. Understanding your feelings is key to deciding to act on your attraction and how to go about it.
How do Your Feelings of Attraction Develop?
Mental health experts have figured out a set of things – the psychology of attraction – that make us more likely to be attracted to, and form relationships, with others. Being physically close to someone or just crossing paths often, whether online or in real life can lead to attraction. Familiarity or knowing what to expect from someone could also switch on the attraction quotient. This might be because you see them often or because they have traits that feel familiar to you. We tend to be drawn to people who have similar attitudes, desires, and viewpoints and we are more likely to like people who like us back.
The Look Good Factor
Earlier research from 1997 posits other factors that enhance our attractiveness factor. The most “attractive” features boil down to good posture, noticeable grooming, well-fitting clothes, a positive attitude, and a healthy weight. While that last one is definitely up for debate, it is nice to know we can score points just by taking care of ourselves and staying optimistic.
Genetics
Remember that genetics play a big role in who we find attractive. It is no surprise that humans naturally find symmetry appealing. The balance of facial and body features can hint at a person’s fertility and strong genes. In 2005, the late psychologist J. Philippe Rushton found that similar genetics influence 34% of friendship and mate choices. That is why happy couples often look alike.
But it is not just about looks. We tend to be attracted to those whose immune genes are different from our own—potentially giving future kids better immunity. We might unconsciously detect genetic compatibility through proximity and scent.
What Kind of Attraction are You Feeling?
Overwhelming feelings of attraction are more common than we think. These feelings can be categorised, allowing us to move forward with our life and the relationship. The kind of attraction that ranks high varies from person to person. For instance, an asexual person might not care much about sexual attraction. People who experience intellectual attraction often seek out partners or friends who challenge them mentally and inspire them to think differently. It is not just about agreeing on everything but rather about engaging in meaningful discussions and debates that broaden one’s horizons. This kind of attraction can be incredibly fulfilling as it allows us to connect with someone on a deeper, more cerebral level. The deepest relationships usually involve a mix of different types of attraction and connection.
Figuring out what kind of attraction you are feeling can be a bit tricky, but here are some tips to help you sort out the psychology of attraction.
Reflect on Your Feelings
Think about what draws you to the person. Is it their looks, their intellect, their sense of humour, or something else? Identifying the specific qualities that attract you can help you understand the type of attraction you are experiencing.
Consider Your Intentions
Ask yourself what you want from this relationship. Are you looking for a romantic partner, a friend, or just someone to have deep conversations with? Your intentions can give you clues about the nature of your attraction.
Pay Attention to Your Reactions
Notice how you feel when you are around the person. Do you get butterflies in your stomach, feel a strong desire to be close to them, or simply enjoy their company? Your emotional and physical reactions can help you identify the type of attraction.
Evaluate Your Priorities
Think about what qualities are most important to you in a relationship. Do you value intellectual conversations, physical closeness, or emotional support? Understanding your priorities can help you determine the type of attraction you are feeling. By reflecting on these aspects, you can gain a clear understanding of your feelings and make informed decisions about whether and how to act on your attraction.
Moving Forward in Your Relationship
By getting a grip on what makes us humans tick when it comes to attraction, you can use the knowledge to up your dating game. Understanding the psychology behind why we find certain people appealing can give you an edge. For instance, knowing that people are often drawn to those who share similar interests or values can help you connect on a deeper level. Recognising the power of good grooming, positive body language, and a confident attitude can make you more attractive to potential partners.
It is not just about looks, though. Being aware of how proximity, familiarity, and reciprocity play a role in attraction can help you navigate social situations more effectively. By being mindful of these factors, you can create opportunities to meet and connect with people who are a good match for you. So, whether it’s through engaging conversations, shared activities, or simply being present and approachable, you can use your understanding of the psychology of attraction to build stronger, more meaningful relationships.
Don’t you want a more meaningful and long-lasting relationship? Download Rematch and use the relationship funnel to help you move beyond the physical attraction stage.
